Upcoming Events

  Fri Jan 19 at 7:00 PM there will be a movie marathon in East Lounge. Enjoy Goonies, Princess Bride, Back to the Future, Teen Wolf, and other reheated slices of 80s nostalgia. Ferris Bueller's conspicuous absence has yet to be explained.

  Mon Jan 22 at 8:00 PM in Toyon Lounge, Jon Ma and any other interested (and no offense Jon but hopefully female) parties can find out about becoming a Dolly.

  Wed Jan 24 at 5:30 PM Twain will have a presentation on dialects. Won't that be loverly!

   Are you a Freshman male who doesn't fall down much? Then Sigma Phi Epsilon's Balanced Man scholarship might be for you! Applications are due Fri Feb 9; see the enigmatic David Weaver for more information.

  On Sun Feb 11, we shall convene en masse to witness STOMP perform their imaginatively improvised aural antics. Hurrah.

   Charles still has a Lost and Found for the ski trip, but I swear, I hope no one is only now noticing their toothbrush is missing.

   As noted last week, we have only one (1) Earth. Twain should share our newfound knowledge with East Palo Alto children via SEEd. Interested parties should contact dhakshin@stanford.edu; no contact information was given for uninterested parties.

   An Alternative Spring Break program in Chiapas wants $50 to go and help build houses. In exchange they will give us a presentation about building houses in Chiapas, which has to be worth at least $89.99.

Ixnay on the Artypay

   Keep thinking about who you'd like to see screw your roommate. Also, forget not the poor RAs in their lonely singles. If you have it in you to screw both your roommate and an RA, by all means, go for it.

Twain Matters

  Thesis: Twain residents want a pool table. Antithesis: Twain dorm has no money with which to buy a pool table. Synthesis: Twain residents must purchase a pool table with their own money.

-AndrewV, hittin' somersaults without the net