The Tragedy of Twain, House of Stern Hall
As told to the author between the fourteeth and the twenty-first of February in the two-thousandth and first year of our Lord, A.D.
Dramatis Personae
ARCADIO, king of Twain House
LILY, advisor to Arcadio
REBECCA, assistant to the residents
VINCENT, friend to prospective freshmen
ROSENCRANTZ, a courtier
SCENE 1. Twain House. The lounge on the North side.
The residents in meeting.
LILY
This Sunday next, at five o'clock at night,
Twain residents shall gather to the North,
And from there drive into the city light,
Where they might hear the martial sounds of "Stomp."
REBECCA
Dru's dark machine has worked its baneful maths
And from its bowels spewed forth mismatches great;
Each pair has but five dollars to be spent,
And by next Tuesday each should hold their meet.
ROSENCRANTZ
This Saturday at Toyon in the eve,
Musicians from within the Stanford ground
Shall gather to do battle on the stage.
ARCADIO
Sad students from apartments named "E.V."
Are empty of the friendship that we share,
For each alone lives in his single hut.
To remedy their sadness and their grief,
We are adopting several to our fold,
So they might share our gladness and know joy.
If you should spy their faces in our halls,
Please welcome them with kindness most sincere.
VINCENT
If any here tonight cares for his dorm,
Then let him be a "Ro-Ho" in its name,
Lest I be forced to kick him in the head.
Exeunt omnes.
AndrewV fears Satan.